Sagittarian FTW (Happy HanuBirtMas)

Thanksgiving, a horse swap, seasonal festivities and the Snowpocolypse... it's been quite a busy month since my last update. I sit here shortly after my ophthalmologist visit on our new Couch of Amazingness with my ginormous pupils and belly full of left over spinach dip contemplating where to start.

I suppose tossing a term like "snowpocolypse" in my intro may elicit some questions so I will start there. The snowstorm we had around Thanksgiving was a doozy. It's wasn't so much the fluffy stuff that caused the issues, it was the frozen wet stuff underneath. When one lives in Rain City, temperatures below freezing leads directly to total chaos. Especially in my neighborhood, where the hills are steep, and the salt trucks non-existent. In sum, the white stuff was lovely coating for the carcasses of abandoned vehicles and closed up shops while the city had their dry run for The End of the World and shut down the week of Thanksgiving. Commuters spent up to 8 hours in gridlock on the icy freeways and after running out of gas left their poor cars where they died. Click here for a recap of the madness (follow links therein for more video and photo fun) and note below an entertaining video of a street not far from my house. Oh Seattle, you amuse indeed. (Also amusing, Seattle men and their all-season shorts apparel as my photo above).



By the time Thanksgiving rolled around Karin and I had managed to create a cozy little space of our home and as the snow continued to fall, our guests arrived to partake in a true feast! We had incredible homemade pies (pumpkin and apple - crusts from scratch of course - see left), turkey for the carnivores with gravy, gluten free stuffing of awesomeness, cranberry sauce of glory, scrumptious mashed potatoes, the required yams with marshmallowy sweetness, crunchiferous green bean casserole, olfactory bliss home baked bread, and more! Five of us sat around the table and gave thanks for the food, each other, and leftovers. The the next few days involved finishing the foodstuffs (that Karin pretty much made on her very own with minimal help from yours truly - I was the clean-up crew) and preparing ourselves for the next Big Three: Hanukkah, Birthday and Christmas... which in this blog entry I am now naming as HanuBirtMas (strategic capitalization optional).

This year, for HanuBirtMas I want a horse. No... not a pony, a horse (although I do love ponies and if one should happen upon my doorstep with a note saying "free pony" I would surely take it in and love it and cherish it forever. Especially THIS pony!) Everyone should know by now horses have been a critical need of mine since my brain was developed enough to understand wants and desires. My first word may have been interpreted as "cookie" but what I meant to say was "double clear" - an obviously big mouthful for a baby but certainly reflective of my equestrian intentions. So to follow up from last months' horse report: King, the great big push-button gray gelding with "Grand Prix" written all over his massive head, was sold. I'm sure I'll see him on CBC someday, rocking the international jumper scene and will be able to say with pride, "I almost got to ride that horse." However, my consolation prize promises to be quite fantastic. ...And you fine readers will have to wait to hear all about it! I fear talking about it here may again tempt the fates, and out of pure superstition I will withhold full details in cyberprint until everything is settled. (Plus, I don't have any cool pictures to share yet!) Hopefully by my next blog post or two I can shed the superstitious malarkey and fill everyone in on the horse saga. In the meantime, appreciate my relaxed riding style, circa 1988, above.

Albeit still (momentarily) horseless, I have been busying myself these past few weeks with more job searching, present-buying, Christmas caroling with my band, preparing for our upcoming concert and enjoying in the birthday cheer of my many fellow Sagittarians in my social circle. I've been lighting Hanukkah candles and bought a little Christmas tree from the nearby Seattle AIDS Support Group annual fundraiser tree sale. Later this month, after a concert and some birthday sushi, Karin, LucyDog (who just turned 8 yesterday) and I will be getting the TSA-pat-down and boarding a plane to Minnesota (via Grand Forks, ND) to understand the true meaning of winter wonderland and to have a Midwest feast courtesy of the in-laws-to-be that will surely rival our turkey-optional, pie-fest, snowpocolypse Seattle Thanksgiving!

Happy HanuBirtMas everyone (photo: me + cake + fellow Sag = yum!)

My first month as a free woman

This is a particularly hard blog entry to compose. No, there's no bad news to share. It's just that after three years of waiting for this freedom I feel like there's a lot of pressure for the first month after residency to be about how relaxed, rested and happy I am.

Not that I'm not, I assure you, but it's really only been in the last two or three days that I have had time to read a book or take a run (two things that have been on my "things I can do with reckless abandon when residency is over" list).

The month has been busy. Sive and I moved, that was certainly a feat. My family was all in town, no simple thing either. Then, as soon as family left and all my stuff was in piles of boxes around Karin's (and now my) apartment, I left for nearly a week in Boston, not just for fun like last year, but for a slew of LGBT health meetings. When I returned the unpacking fairy (a.k.a. Karin) had tackled many of the boxes but there were still weeks worth to go through, too much furniture and not enough room for everything. At the same time there was the ABFM board exam - a day-long multiple choice test that I had to prepare for and take. And I can't forget the band gigs, local transgender health meetings, local community drama, all which absorbed free time and energy like thirsty sponges.

Karin and I updated our closet, remodeled our bathroom, filled trash bags and attics and basements. Sive, like Rapunzel, has been locked in the loft, high above all the activity of the rest of the house and safe from the Scary-Barking-Chase-Monster. I climb up there, careful to close the protective gate behind me, for visits at least once a day and to provide her with her yummy new wet-food diet. Her only two experiences down from The Tower have been too eventful and scary for her. One was an accident where she fell dramatically from the loft into the living room, bounced off the coffee table and landed on the floor where she righted herself, crouched low, poofed her tail, and hissed as a confused Lucy came up to her wondering why cats where falling from the sky! Both animals survived the event without injury and are still living in their separate areas. At the advice of a well-respected animal trainer, we are trying to clicker-train Sive so we can introduce the pets in a controlled and pleasant way. It's not easy. Lucy already has dibs on the actual clicker sound so we have resorted to the cumbersome alternative of a baby rattle for Sive - it's also not as loud and less scary for her. No progress has been made as of yet, but I'll sure keep everyone posted. I'm hopeful the two beasts will live in peace. Sive has coexisted with dogs in the past, but Lucy appears to be somehow more frightening than she can quite manage.

In sum, the first weeks free from the clutches of residency have not been quite what I anticipated. There's no backpacking in exotic lands or horseback riding every day. In fact, a large part of my days have been spent doing housework: dishes, laundry, cleaning, sorting, shopping and cooking (with various levels of success). But it is amazing how much residency took from me that those simple household activities suddenly seem like a luxury. The fact that I can do 6 loads of laundry and two sinkfulls of dishes in one day is like a dream come true! It will be curious to see how the next few weeks develop. They are also pretty packed. Half of August will be dedicated to entertaining Karin's 11-year old niece and I'm heading up to Vancouver, BC for a few days to visit my good pal, Lisa, from Australia. But maybe I'll also find a horse to ride and rekindle my relationship with exercise and self-care. Let my real life begin...

So long Tacoma, smell ya later!

The month of June was rather eventful.

It has totally exhausted me and have as much brain power as a cardboard box right now so bear with the less flowery language herein (the literary part of my brain is resting and waiting for its big binge after my board exams!)

So... June: Let's start from the beginning and try to break it into bite size pieces...

TFM Day
June rushed in with the dreaded "TFM Day" - a full 8 hours of residents (and other notable speakers, but mostly residents) giving dry presentations on evidence-based topics that are on their way to publication via the FPIN Network. I won't bore you with too much detail about the event. Just know that the whole process involves at least a year's worth of work, research and stress. My topic? Anal pap smears. I had hoped to perform a evidence review on transgender primary care but that wasn't approved. So even though I didn't quite get my topic of choice, in the last few years at TFM I have had the opportunity to present transgender medicine topics on my own accord. My TFM Day butt-talk (as I fondly call it) went very well and was actually a pleasure to give. The paper for publication is another story for another time.

Cle Elum
To celebrate the end of TFM Day, and the nearing end of residency, my class head off to Cle Elum, a quaint little rural Washington town, home of yummy Pioneer Coffee, and spectacular views! We recovered a little, bonded a little more, ate a TON (including an awesome Indian dinner made by our Indian classmate). We were there two nights and one full day and at the crack of dawn on Sunday Karin and I head back for our first uniformed marching band gig, a picnic in the park just blocks from her house. Afterward, we waiting in line, in uniform, for nearly 2 hours to get our $1 BBQ fixings (veggie burger included).

The Last Rotation
My last rotation of residency was an elective. I chose to rotate at Bastyr Center for Natural Health, a comprehensive naturopathic, acupuncture and homeopathic clinic in Seattle. In order to do this, however, I had to battle my nemesis, I-5. During the rotation I drove 300-500 miles a week, commuting from clinic to clinic. My previous efforts to coordinate my TFM clinics into full days (freeing me to learn at Bastyr for more than a few hours at a time) was massively unsuccessful - so back and forth and back and forth I went. But the elective was fruitful and I even felt, with my own index fingers on the pulse of a 90 year old woman, the actual palpable changes acupuncture creates in a person. Pretty amazing.

Chaos
Then, the proverbial you-know-what hit the fan and I started hurtling toward graduation at breakneck speed. Moving, packing, vet appointments, address changes, insurance coverage changes, forms to complete, etc etc... And, for extra fun my Mom and step-dad flew into town. We celebrated her birthday at Ray's Cafe, and over the weekend enjoyed in the festivities of the Fremont Solstice Fair and Parade! (us at right - Karin is on the end with the bass drum and I am playing trumpet behind her.) They stayed at my place, on the pullout couch, while I was packing and working, and then, for extra fun, my Dad and step-mom came into town and we had graduation.

Graduation
Graduation was a nice event - good food, good company, ample beverages to soothe savage beasts. However, it was four and a half hours long. For just eight residents. I was the very last to be graduated and by the time it came around for me to say my piece everyone was exhausted and surely sick of being there so I just said a few words of thanks and that was that. Kind of anticlimactic, I think. It didn't help that after all those hours of graduation hoopla I had clinic the following Monday. The best part of graduation for me was giving gifts to my advisor and getting to share with everyone the movie I had been working on for the better part of 4 months! I would love to post it here but am not sure people would appreciate their images up here for the world to see, dancing around and such. I rewrote all the words to Hotel California to reflect life as a resident at TFM and TG and filmed various folks singing and dancing along to the words. It was such a kick to make and I spent way more time on it than I did my FPIN!

Pride
Then came pride, or, "the gay Christmas", as Karin and I call it. With both sets of parents in town, my move a matter of days away, residency finishing, and all my duties with the band I was spread pretty thin. But I managed to enjoy marching in the parade, partaking in some of the street fairs and the festivities at the Seattle Center after the parade was over. One of the highlights of Pride this year was the huge rainbow flag the Seattle Center put on the Space Needle! A historic day! Now if only we can get equal rights like marriage, or at least equal taxation for domestic partners!

Then back to work for me after Pride. It wasn't easy but I managed to work a hellish, soul-sucking clinic on Monday, finish packing, and move my whole life to Seattle on Tuesday. Tuesday night Karin came back to Tacoma with me to finish cleaning the apartment. Wednesday I went to work and closed my charts, tied up loose ends, returned my parking pass, all the usual last day stuff. Hilariously, I got in trouble my last day for not having my badge. Figures some safety big shot would be touring the clinic on June 30th. He was understanding after I told him it was my last day and I had just returned it!

Life as a free woman
Now, here I am, among piles and piles of boxes. Overwhelmed with how much stuff I have to fit into Karin's apartment. We are working hard to make it our place (not just me squeezed in to her place) and it's not going to be easy (33 years of accumulated stuff is a lot!) but we are doing it! The pets have been without incident, Sive lives in the loft with a gate separating the beasts for the time being. I am so happy to be done with residency and ready to start the rest of my life, with my fiance, my family. Karin, me, Sive, Lucy and a houseful of boxes. I couldn't have imagined a happier ending to this story.

Next step? Studying for boards, unpacking, nesting, and continuing my advocacy here in Seattle and through GLMA... now only if I can find where all my advocacy stuff is... and maybe, soon, the feeling of being done with my indentured servitude will hit me.

2009 in Review

Now for the traditional Year in Review Post!
2009 was really a year of changes for me.

Click here for last year's entry, if you are feeling extra nostalgic.

Most photos are from my recent trip to Detroit for Christmas.

January: Rotation was Night Float and Geriatrics, emphasis on the Night Float. Uppers: The fabulous inauguration of the new President Obama. Marching in his parade. The world-wide sigh of relief at the end the "W" years. Downer: The start of the Dental Saga of 2009. Inauguration and a wedding not included, I had all of 2 days actually off the entire month, yet somehow managed to cram in 4 dentist appointments and a two-part root canal.

February: Night float and geriatrics continue. Upper: Vegas, baby! Downer: That night float crap was getting really old, the dentist crap even older. My only weekend off was spent at an all-TFM retreat. I was so dizzy and sleep deprived I think I may have hallucinated once or twice.

March: My "Away" Rotation with Puyallup Tribal Health. Uppers: Shilo turned 20, Sive turned 10. I ran a 5K, started in on Honk Fest excitement and spent a ton of time on horseback. I got back in shape, I took care of myself, and finally wrapped up the Dental Insanity. I also completed my USMLE Board Exams. Downer: My friend's wife died. My community, Rainbow City Band filled an entire section of the funeral home. So, the silver lining: It made me realize how lucky I am to be a part of a community like RCB.

April: Ah April, the best and worst of times. Rotation: Inpatient Pediatrics. Downer: Peds just about killed me. The hours were insane, the patients sick as hell, and the attendings, ruthless. But the uppers! The Uppers! I played at HonkFest West which magically fell on my one weekend off that month! And, most amazingly (include all superlatives here), I fell in love. And while residency tried its damnedest to crush me with my peds rotation, I was like one of those trick candles and sparkled despite it all!

May: More blasted Peds and the start of clinical GYN. Upper: Swing Fever with RCB. Vacation in Boston (the only thing I managed to blog about). Downer: Yeah, peds was still killer, and just when I thought it was over I was back rounding on the service my first weekend after vacation, covering for another resident. But despite the peds interjections, GYN heralded my last rotation of R2 year. And any free time I had was spent with my girlfriend, Shilo, and my band. In that order.

June: GYN continued. Upper: Realized I was almost done with R2 year! Woo! Started my Countdown Calendar. I played some awesome gigs including ones for the Majestics, Solstice Parade and Pride. It was a very RCB-heavy month for me. Downer: Getting the swine flu sucked.

July: Internal Medicine. Uppers: Played for the Rat City Rollergirls, Mom came to visit, got to see my friends Suhani and Rachel even if it was just for a few hours. Downers (this wasn't my best month): q4 call, new interns, and most insane month for the hospital ever. My one weekend off that month spent over-caffeineated, sleep-deprived at a board meeting in Chicago. Missing playing in the Seafair parade. And did I mention getting totally and mercilessly spanked by Tacoma General Hospital. How much left on that countdown? I was so brutalized that month by work I didn't even have time for one little blog entry! I did highlight a bit of the month in my first of two August entries under the subtitle: Red, white, blue and burned out.

August: First two weeks the flogging continued as Night Float. But, at least this time I didn't have a dozen dentist appointments keeping me up during the day while I should have been sleeping. Instead I had elevator construction and a record-breaking heat wave! Uppers: Dad and Julie visit from Michigan. Mount Rainier! Downers: Said goodbye to Shilo, the horse that kept me sane and human. One of the hardest things I've ever done. Here it is almost 5 months later and I still feel heartbroken. And to add to it all, my dear, sweet dog, Kiki, passed on. It was indeed a month of loss.

September: Rotation? Keep reading. Summed some of the month here. Upper: LGBA in New Orleans - very, very awesome. GLMA in DC, also pretty fabulous. Lullaby Moon - surreal. A good month for recovery from the losses of the month prior. Downer: I spent so much time working in the hospital as back-up I completely have forgotten was rotation I was on. Had to look it up. It was ophthalmology, urology and ENT (OUE). Go figure.

October: Away rotation on the East Coast, LGBT Medicine. Adventures aplenty. Uppers: I completed my GLMA conference. My talks were huge hits. I loved, loved Mazzoni Center. My RCB "TV Land" Concert was sold out and fantabulous. I only wish I had video of our awesomeness to share! Our pep band played at Macy's in a mall which was a really fun experience. I celebrated Karin's birthday for about 2 weeks straight! I dressed up as Daddy Warbucks this Halloween and had tons of fun with my friends in Seattle. Downers: The month had to end. And I missed the long-time coming, awesome, big, gay Connecticut wedding of my old friends Stevie and Jill.

November: Rotation was HIV Medicine. Uppers: A low key Thanksgiving on the Oregon Coast. The rotation rocked. Educating my program about transgender health and making TFM officially a trans-friendly place for patients! Downer: My 99 year old grandpa died. Half my program was struck down with the flu and, as above, I had to struggle for my balance.

December: And here we are. Rotation: Pediatric ER and sports medicine. Upper: my first week vacation since R2 year! Christmas with family and Karin and Lucy. Christmas caroling with Renegayde. Adventures in Detroit. Another sold out concert with RCB (left). Downer: Good-bye weekends, I'll see you in March.