Increments

Hello dear readers. Long time no blog, I know! Since it's been so long, instead of a chronological, month-by-month review as is my usual routine, I thought I'd cover a few of the most relevant topics. Things that will get some dedicated MelikaGirl time are: The status of my head injury, Wedding Events/Honeymoon and a celebration post for my dearest Sive who I lost October 22nd. So expect a few posts dedicated to those topics coming up soon!

In this post I'll focus on a brief-ish head injury update. As you may recall, I was felled by a decompensation in April. I recovered a bit late spring, early summer at the time of my last post and from there made incrementally slow improvements.

My return to working a regular schedule was painfully slow. At first it was minimal to no computer time. Then it was computer time until I had symptoms then stopping, moving to a dark quiet place and taking a 10 minute break or resting until symptoms went away again. Eventually I was able to work part days, then full days, seeing 1/3 patient load then slowly and surely a full patient load. I threw my expectations of having a social life out the window. I was medicated and in bed by 9:30 and up at 7 pretty much every day. I kept to my routine and even added nightly mindfulness meditation to my daily ritual, meditating from 30 minutes to 2 hours. I rested my brain at every opportunity. I nurtured my body as well. I start lifting weights and doing some interval training. Once I started working out more regularly my incremental improvements seemed to start increasing by, well, larger increments. By the wedding I could say I felt good most days. I even managed to climb a mountain (photo above from the descent), participate with my marching band in almost every parade as a banner carrier (photo at left) and do things that started to make me feel like I was getting my old life back!

I can't say I'm quite back to normal. Not yet. Screen time, loud sounds and bright and/or flashing lights are still hard to tolerate. But since September I have been successfully playing with Rainbow City Band, often with at least one earplug in, but it's been wonderful to make music again! This fall concert (can you find me at right?) we hosted the annual conference of the Lesbian and Gay Band Association and performed with around 300 other LGBT musicians and performers (the color guard also did an impressive number to a Danny Elfman arrangement). It was a great experience and it was so nice to see some familiar faces from Inauguration and New Orleans!

I still struggle with headaches, neck and jaw pain, some dizziness and difficulty sleeping through the night (usually due to one of the above). Additionally, when I get tired or am not taking proper care of myself, I'll have a hard time concentrating -- this can range from difficulty completing complicated tasks (like charting at the end of the workday) to difficulty with word-finding or expressing myself the way I'd like. These issues predictably seem to come up at the end of a particularly long day with a lot of computer use. It's terribly frustrating as problems staying focused or concentrating are things I've never had to deal with before and are harder for me to manage than the more simple symptoms like pain, dizziness, or nausea. I also sometimes find myself with a shorter fuse, more irritated at little things that used to not bother me nearly as much. But, like I said, if I care of myself, keep stress to a minimum, sleep well, eat well and exercise, these things are manageable and I think that maybe I'll someday be symptom free. *fingers crossed*

My Big Gay Autumn

I know, I know, I let you down, I didn’t post at all this September. It wasn’t for lack of activity. As reported in my previous post, I rotated through OUE. I did enjoy looking at retinas, tympanic membranes and bladders which, surprisingly, do resemble each other once magnified through one sort of scope or another. I was also “back-up” a good portion of the month, and as is my curse, it was overwhelmingly busy on the wards and I was called in most of my back up days, weekends included, to round and cover for other residents.

But… I also partook in some awesome band adventures! The LGBA had its annual conference over Labor Day weekend where I got to play both concert and marching gigs. New Orleans was gorgeous. If you hadn’t told me I would never had known the city was recently ravaged by a series of hurricanes. Apparently LGBA was the first marching band allowed in the French Quarter in more than 40 years (thanks to narrow streets and close quarters). In addition to the pure awesomeness of thousands of screaming fans (and yes, some nudity, some protesters, and a plethora of drag queens), some of my favorite things were: Beignets and iced coffee at Café Du Monde (pictured), Bananas Foster at Brennan’s (the inventors of the dessert!), gumbos, étouffées, crab, oysters and more oysters… in short, THE FOOD! The street music was also pretty amazing featuring predominately brass music. New Orleans deserved its own blog post but the trip was so crammed full of rehearsals and sweltering hot marching and dehydrated sun-stroked performances it just didn’t happen.

Here is a one of many YouTube video's made of our performance. I picked this one because it doesn't have all the expletives the other ones do.

(never mind on the imbedded video - formatting issues too frustrating to work out - try the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6T0x36qWdM4)

[ Download ]

Two other awesome band events were with Renegayde Pep Band: Lullaby Moon and Seattle AIDS walk!

Lullaby Moon is awfully hard to describe. I tell people to imagine Lewis Carroll meets Julie Taymor. It's a performance art event that happens each new moon (for the last year) in Seattle. Funded, I think. by the City, by the UW Arts Department and well staffed, well executed and well attended. Renegayde was asked to play a "sleepwalking marching band" in their 12th and finale-esque installment. Attached is a picture a friend took (as I was busy performing) but go to their website to see some amazing pictures (or check out this from the Seattle PI) and maybe videos as well. It was breathtaking. The only damper on the whole event was that ultimately it ended up pouring rain. So we were frozen and wet to the bones by the end - yet people stayed to watch and enjoyed. Seattlites are a fun-loving and fearless bunch!

AIDS Walk was my first real gig with the organization last year and it was great to come back and do it again. Karin made a video of part of the gig and after she finishes it up and submits it (for a grant for our org!) maybe I can get permission to post it here. It is always wonderful to give back to the community and perform for such an important cause.

October, while not yet half over, has so far been an adventure the likes of which I haven’t had in some time! The last two days of September I head back East for my GLMA conference where I thoroughly enjoyed two days of engaging board meetings (seriously) followed by 3 days of conference programming where I presented twice: once on LGBT advocacy and once on transdermal estrogen in male-to-female transgender patients with clotting disorders (two obviously very different presentations). I went to several social events, rubbed elbows with some more famous individuals (Bishop Gene Robinson laughed at all my bad jokes, I like him!), made a few speeches, schmoozed and surprisingly rekindled a very old friendship with someone I had traveled with in Cameroon 12 years ago! I also lobbied on capitol hill, traipsing from senator to senator’s office making sure we don’t let health care reform go stale and letting them know about LGBT health disparities! LGBT folks are 2-3x more likely to be uninsured than their straight counterparts. Why? Think about it: the top two ways people get insurance are 1. From their employer and 2. From their spouse.

Some highlights from the conference:

-Did you know King James was not straight? Me either? Bishop Robinson was commenting on the irony of his bible being the one often used to prove homosexuality as a sin.

-One of Bishop Robinson’s best points is that homophobia (and to a larger extent, transphobia and violence) is really about the end of patriarchy, not so much LGBT acceptance. Men who don’t act like men or chose to become women are most brutalized and victimized.

-When it comes to LGBT Disparities, Congresswoman Tammy Baldwin knows her shit (pardon my French, but it's true!)

-The following exchange was relayed to me. In true “Operator” fashion, the quotes are certainly not exact. Senators Kyl (R-male, Arizona) and Stabenow (D-female, Michigan) were both in a discussion about women’s health and maternity care and accessing prenatal care to prevent adverse outcomes in pregnancy. Senator Kyle: “Maternity care? I don’t need maternity care!” Senator Stabenow (dryly) “It appears your mother did.”

-There was a medical student who flew 36 hours from Perth, Australia to come to the conference. Proving my point that there remains a critical need for an LGBT Medical Organization!

After DC I took the Chinatown bus (another adventure in itself) to Philadelphia where I worked at the Mazzoni LGBT Health Center. At nights I stayed with a new friend from LGBA (who I marched with both in DC and in New Orleans) and her family of 4 (including husband, daughter and lovable 14-year-old Elkhound mix). Mazzoni was simply a fantastic experience. I got to work with HIV/AIDS patients. I drew blood, gave flu shots, did STD checks, transgender care, primary care, free adolescent clinic to mostly HIV+ homeless youth… at one point I thought to myself “ah, this is what it is like to actually make a difference!” I actually honestly LIKED my job! Go figure!

In case you haven’t noticed, residency has gone past rubbing me raw, now I seem to have ended up a huge callous. I think I need a good long soak to rid myself of it. Mazzoni was a nice break but I think I need more time to rediscover non-resident Liz. Still have my countdown going...

Hopefully the rest of my month will continue to bring me more smiles than piles. (Hm! I think I just made up a new saying!). And, who knows, maybe I’ll get another blog post in this month to make up for the last…

Tofurky, graveyard shift and Obamarama

1/15/08
Maybe its the night schedule. Maybe it's my cold, or my bad tooth. Whatever it is I decided to try Tofurky. In fact, I did more than this, I decided to try Tofurky and some veggie salami-wannabe at the same time.

Lesson learned: I should not grocery shop sleep deprived.

Night float is what it is. The hard work I can handle. And I've worked longer hours. It's the loss of the daytime that gets to me. Between Inauguration preparations, a wedding in rural Oregon, an out of town visitor, a dental disaster (three trips to the dentist in two days!) and a mean case of the rhinovirus I have to say I'm feeling a tad run down. But adrenaline and excitement goes far. Tomorrow I head to DC. Hard to believe since I still have to finish this shift, go to bed, wake up, pack, and then work for another 12 hours first, but it really is tomorrow! I arrive in DC around 11 PM EST. Saturday I kick back with my cousin and his kidlets. Sunday and Monday practice all day. Tuesday the schedule states we start preparations at 4AM and after a lot of credentialing and such we are at the staging area around noon. Then, after it's all over, we probably celebrate a little, then, pre-crack of dawn, I'm back at the airport to fly home. I get in around 11:30 PM and have 8 patients scheduled into my clinic a mere 2 hours after I land... what is it they say about the wicked and rest?

I have been practicing diligently in the call room between admissions. The janitor caught me one night, kicked back playing Sousa with my Harmon mute, the digital metronome ticking away at 112 beats per second on the computer. I wanted to memorize the pieces but don't think it's going to happen. I almost have two or three of them down but would need a few more weeks to really know them by heart. Thankfully, I think I know them well enough to learn to march the inauguration committee's massive regulation 28 inch step.

LGBA has been receiving a lot of press. Locally the Seattle PI printed something in their Jan 15th edition that is also available online if you click here. It made the front page! How cool is that? A news crew also came to band practice this week and did some interviewing and filming. I was, of course, here at Tacoma General Saving lives and Making a Difference so will redeem my 15 minutes of fame at some later date. I would not recommend reading the comments section of the news article. Lots of homophobic crap on there. Depressing. Instead, check out my band friend's inauguration blog here, much cooler.

I am thrilled about DC. The adrenaline is pumping. I have my Sudafed and my DayQuil, my trumpet and couple changes of clothes. I'm packing light - just a backpack (crammed to the gills with warm clothes) and my trumpet case for the next five days. I will be doing a lot of moving around and have lay-overs so I feel better bringing only what I can carry.

Tofurky aside, this should be an amazing inauguration weekend!

1/16/08
Things as things have been predictably hectic. Additionally, I just found out my flight was delayed nearly three hours, meaning a missed connection. But the friendly folks at NWA rebooked me with their new partner, Delta and I'm back on schedule, I just lay-over in Atlanta for 40 minutes instead of Detroit for more than an hour. I leave a few minutes later so had time to publish this entry. Send me good vibes everyone! I hope I don't trip and send the entire band crashing down in front of Obama!